Code of Conduct

Our Foundations

Charity Leaders UK exists because the charity sector needs spaces where leaders can be real, vulnerable, and honest without fear of judgment. We're building a community that breaks the mold of performative professional networking in favour of authentic connection, mutual support, and genuine collaboration.

This Code of Conduct protects that space. It's not about policing behaviour - it's about ensuring everyone can show up as themselves, share openly, and trust that this community has their back.

What We Stand For

Authenticity Over Performance

We value real talk over polished personas. You don't need to have it all figured out here.

Inclusion Without Exception

We celebrate our trans members, our neurodivergent members, our members from all backgrounds. Diversity isn't just who's in the room, it's whether the room allows everyone to contribute their best work.

Support Without Saviourism

We help each other without hierarchy. Your struggles don't make you less valuable. Your wins don't make you superior. Your job role doesn’t make you more important, than someone else in the room. Power should be wielded carefully. If you are joining us from a funder, we invite you to participate as an individual leader. You must not judge leaders or use that judgement to transfer knowledge outside of the organisation to your funders to inform judgements on funding, for example.

Honesty Without Harm

We can be direct, challenge ideas, and have difficult conversations, but never at the expense of someone's dignity or safety.

Confidentiality as Sacred

What's shared in this community stays in this community. Trust is our currency. If we find anyone joining the community publishes anything from the community, or discusses anything outside of the community, this will lead to a lifetime ban from the community.

Expected Behaviours

We Commit To:

Respect

• Listen more than we speak

• Assume good intentions while holding each other accountable

• Acknowledge our own biases and blind spots

• Make space for perspectives different from our own

• To moving towards constructive allyship

Inclusion

• Use people's correct names and pronouns

• Challenge discrimination when we see it

• Recognize that lived experience is expertise

• Create access, not barriers

• Ensure our spaces are safe- for everyone. If this feels uncomfortable for you, we urge you to educate yourself, and not expect diverse members of the community to have to educate you on inclusion.

Confidentiality

• Keep personal stories, organisational challenges, and vulnerable shares private

• Be conscientious that despite our best efforts, we cannot guarantee complete privacy in any group community- therefore anything of a newsworthy, whistleblowing, or highly sensitive nature only be discussed within the confines of confidential workshops and not within online spaces.

• Ask before sharing someone else's work or ideas externally

• Do not take screenshots and forwarding messages breaks trust- please do not do this.

Support

• Offer help without strings attached- no services may be sold in this community. No advertisements of services. If you wish to advertise please email [email protected] for expressed written permission.

• Celebrate others' wins genuinely

• Show up for people when they're struggling

• Share knowledge freely

Accountability

• Own our mistakes without defensiveness

• Apologise meaningfully when we cause harm

• Accept feedback as a gift, even when it's uncomfortable

• Do better next time

Unacceptable Behaviours

The following behaviours are incompatible with our community values and will result in action:

Discrimination

This includes but is not limited to:

• Racist, sexist, homophobic, biphobic, transphobic, or ableist comments or "jokes"

• Deadnaming or misgendering trans or non-binary members

• Assumptions based on someone's identity, background, or appearance

• Tokenizing or exoticizing people from marginalised groups

• Dismissing or minimising experiences of discrimination

• "Colorblind" rhetoric that erases racial injustice

• Questioning someone's right to exist or participate based on their identity

Examples of what this looks like:

• "I don't see colour" or "We're all the same"

• Referring to a trans woman as "he" or using their deadname

• "You're so articulate [for someone from your background]"

• Asking inappropriate questions about someone's body, sexuality, or personal life

• "But where are you really from?"

• Assuming someone's role or seniority based on gender or race

Bullying

This includes but is not limited to:

• Persistent targeting of an individual with criticism, mockery, or hostility

• Ganging up on someone or encouraging others to pile on

• Public shaming or calling someone out to humiliate rather than educate

• Discussing someone with your peers outside of the community with an intention to gossip, be rude about, or cause friction.

• Undermining someone's professional reputation

• Using private information to intimidate or embarrass someone

• Excluding someone deliberately from conversations or opportunities

Examples of what this looks like:

• Repeatedly criticising someone's contributions in ways that feel personal

• Creating a WhatsApp group or Facebook chat specifically to mock someone's posts

• Bringing up someone's past mistakes repeatedly to shame them

• Sharing someone's confidential information as "gossip"

• "Joking" in ways that consistently make one person the target

Breach of Trust

This includes but is not limited to:

• Sharing confidential information outside the community

• Screenshot or forwarding private messages without consent

• Using information shared in confidence for professional gain

• Breaking anonymity when someone has shared vulnerably

• Disclosing organisational challenges to damage someone's reputation

• Using the community to recruit or poach without permission

Examples of what this looks like:

• Posting a screenshot of someone's vulnerable share on LinkedIn

• Telling a funder about another member's organisational struggles

• Using a member's idea and presenting it as your own

• Sharing details of someone's personal life without their consent

• Taking a confidential conversation and gossiping about it

Uncivility

This includes but is not limited to:

• Personal attacks or name-calling

• Aggressive, hostile, or threatening language

• Belittling or patronizing others

• Interrupting, talking over, or silencing others consistently

• Dismissing concerns without consideration

• Sarcasm used to wound rather than engage

Examples of what this looks like:

• "That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard"

• "Clearly you don't understand how the sector works"

• Responding to someone's concern with eye-rolls or mockery

• "Maybe if you were better at your job, you wouldn't struggle with this"

• Derailing conversations to centre yourself

Harassment

This includes but is not limited to:

• Unwanted sexual attention or advances

• Sending unsolicited explicit messages or images

• Stalking or persistent unwanted contact

• Threatening behaviour or intimidation

• Doxxing or sharing private information publicly

• Encouraging others to harass someone

Examples of what this looks like:

• Continuing to message someone after they've asked you to stop

• Making sexual comments about someone's appearance

• Looking up and sharing someone's home address

• Creating fake accounts to contact someone who's blocked you

• Commenting on someone's body in ways that make them uncomfortable

Grey Areas and Good Faith

We recognise that:

• People make mistakes

• Communication can be misunderstood

• Cultural differences affect how we interpret behaviour

• We're all learning and unlearning

• Intent doesn't negate impact, but it matters

Before reporting, consider:

• Can I address this directly with the person?

• Am I assuming the worst interpretation?

• Is this a pattern or a one-off?

• What outcome am I hoping for?

We encourage direct communication first when:

• You feel safe to do so

• The behaviour seems unintentional

• You believe the person would want to know

• The harm feels repairable through conversation

Report immediately when:

• You feel unsafe

• The behaviour is clearly intentional and harmful

• Direct communication hasn't worked or isn't appropriate

• The behaviour is part of a pattern

• Multiple people are being affected

Reporting Process

How to Report

Email: [email protected]

Subject Line: "Code of Conduct Concern"

What to Include:

• Your name (or "anonymous" if you prefer)

• What happened (as specifically as possible)

• When and where it happened

• Who was involved

• Any screenshots or evidence (if available)

• What outcome you're hoping for

• Whether you've tried to address it directly

Anonymous Reports:

We accept anonymous reports, though they can be harder to investigate thoroughly. If possible, please provide enough detail for us to take action.

What Happens Next

Within 48 hours:

• You'll receive acknowledgment that we received your report

• We'll let you know who's handling it and what the process looks like

Investigation:

• We'll gather information from all parties involved

• We'll review any evidence provided

• We'll consider context, pattern, and impact

• We'll maintain confidentiality as much as possible

Throughout:

• You'll receive updates on the process

• You can ask questions or provide additional information

• You can request a different person handle your case if needed

Consequences

Consequences are proportionate to the severity and frequency of the behaviour. Our goal is restoration and learning where possible, and removal where necessary to protect the community.

Level 1: First-Time or Minor Infractions

Examples:

• Unintentional microaggression that was called in

• One-off uncivil comment in a heated discussion

• Unaware breach of confidentiality norms

Response:

• Private conversation with community moderator

• Education on why the behaviour was harmful

• Expectation of acknowledgment and apology

• Guidance on repair (if someone was directly harmed)

Follow-up:

• Check-in after 2 weeks

• No further action if behaviour changes

Level 2: Repeated or More Serious Infractions

Examples:

• Multiple incidents after a Level 1 warning

• Discrimination that appears intentional

• Bullying behaviour that's created a hostile environment

• Breach of trust that's damaged someone's reputation

Response:

• Formal warning in writing

• Temporary suspension from community (2-4 weeks)

• Required conversation with affected party (if they consent)

• Required action plan for how behaviour will change

• Loss of certain privileges (e.g., posting in main forums, attending events)

Reinstatement:

• Demonstration of understanding and accountability

• Commitment to changed behaviour

• Approval from community moderators and affected party (where appropriate)

Level 3: Severe or Persistent Violations

Examples:

• Pattern of discrimination despite previous warnings

• Harassment or threatening behaviour

• Major breach of trust causing significant harm

• Behaviour that makes the community unsafe for others

• No change after multiple interventions

Response:

• Immediate suspension pending investigation

• Permanent removal from community

• No refund of membership fees

• Notification to relevant parties if there are safeguarding concerns

No Appeal:

• Decisions for Level 3 violations are final

• We prioritise community safety over individual participation

Restorative Justice Option

For Level 1 and some Level 2 situations, if both parties agree, we may facilitate a restorative conversation focused on:

• Understanding the harm caused

• Taking accountability

• Making meaningful repair

• Rebuilding trust where possible

This is voluntary and only happens when the harmed party wants it.

Special Circumstances

When a Founder or Leader Violates the Code

No one is exempt. If a founder, board member, or community leader violates this Code of Conduct, they are subject to the same consequences and potentially higher scrutiny given their position of influence and responsibility.

External behaviour

While this Code primarily governs behaviour within Charity Leaders UK spaces, serious violations of our values in external professional contexts (e.g., public discrimination, harassment of other members outside the community) may also result in consequences, particularly if they:

• Directly affect other members

• Bring the community into disrepute

• Suggest someone is unsafe to have in the community

Disagreement vs. Harm

Disagreement is healthy. Challenging ideas, offering different perspectives, and robust debate are welcome.

Harm is not. When disagreement becomes personal attacks, dismissiveness, or creates an environment where people feel unsafe to contribute, that crosses the line.

The difference:

• Disagreement: "I see it differently because..." or "Have you considered..."

• Harm: "You clearly don't understand..." or "That's ridiculous"

Calling In vs. Calling Out

We encourage "calling in" over "calling out":

• Assume the person wants to do better

• Address the behaviour privately when possible

• Focus on education, not humiliation

• Give people room to learn and apologise

Call out when:

• Calling in hasn't worked

• The harm is happening publicly and needs to stop immediately

• The behaviour is egregious and intentional

• Safety requires public accountability

Member Responsibilities

If You've Been Harmed

You have the right to:

• Name what happened

• Set boundaries

• Decline to engage further with the person

• Receive support from the community

• Report the behaviour

• Choose not to accept an apology

You are not required to:

• Educate the person who harmed you

• Accept an apology if it doesn't feel genuine

• Continue in community with someone who's harmed you

• "Get over it" on someone else's timeline

If You've Caused Harm

Your responsibility:

• Listen without defensiveness

• Acknowledge the impact, regardless of intent

• Apologise meaningfully and specifically

• Ask what you can do to repair (but don't put the burden on them)

• Change your behaviour going forward

• Do your own learning - don't expect the harmed party to teach you

What meaningful accountability looks like:

• "I'm sorry I said [specific thing]. That was harmful because [why]. I'm going to [specific action] to do better."

• NOT: "I'm sorry you felt that way" or "That wasn't my intention"

If you're not sure you understand:

• Ask questions to clarify, not to defend

• Thank the person for bringing it to your attention

• Take time to reflect before responding

• Seek resources to educate yourself

If You Witness Harm

Your responsibility:

• Don't pretend you didn't see it

• Check in with the person who was harmed (privately)

• Speak up if you feel safe to do so

• Report if the situation warrants it

• Don't pile on or make it worse

What support looks like:

• "Are you okay? That wasn't okay."

• "I noticed [behaviour]. Would it help if I said something?"

• "I've got your back if you want to report this."

Community Moderators

Who They Are

Community moderators are Charity Leaders UK members who've volunteered and been trained to:

• Monitor community spaces

• Respond to reports

• Facilitate difficult conversations

• Make decisions on Code of Conduct violations

Their Responsibilities

• Act impartially and without favouritism

• Maintain confidentiality

• Follow this Code of Conduct themselves

• Recuse themselves from cases where they have a conflict of interest

• Prioritize community safety over individual comfort

• Communicate decisions clearly and respectfully#

Accountability

Moderators are accountable to the community. If you believe a moderator has handled something unfairly, you can:

• Request a different moderator review the case

• Escalate to the Charity Leaders UK board

• Provide feedback on the moderation process

Frequently Asked Questions

"What if I'm accused of something I didn't do?"

You'll have the opportunity to share your perspective. We investigate thoroughly and consider all sides. False accusations are taken seriously, but we also recognise that different people can experience the same situation very differently.

"What if someone is 'too sensitive'?"

Impact matters more than intent. If multiple people are telling you that your behaviour is harmful, that's information worth taking seriously - even if you didn't mean harm.

"Can I disagree with this Code of Conduct?"

You can disagree with specific aspects and engage in good-faith dialogue about them. However, if you fundamentally can't align with our commitment to inclusion, respect, and safety, this might not be the right community for you.

"What if I make a mistake?"

We all will. The question is what you do next. Own it, apologise, learn, do better. That's the standard.

"Isn't this just 'woke' policing?"

No. This is about creating a space where charity leaders can be real, vulnerable, and honest without fear and that requires trust, safety, and mutual respect. If treating people with dignity feels like "policing" to you, we invite you to reflect on why. If you have problems with being inclusive, respectfully, we are not your community- there is plenty of others out there that might be a better place for you.

"What about free speech?"

Free speech protects you from government censorship. It doesn't entitle you to a platform in a private community, and it doesn't absolve you from the consequences of harming others. You can say what you want. We can decide we don't want you in our space.

Living Document

This Code of Conduct is a living document. We'll review it annually and update it based on:

• Feedback from members

• New situations that arise

• Best practices from other communities

• Changes in our community values or structure

Version History:

• Version 1.0 - [17/11/2025] - Initial document

Feedback Welcome:

If you have suggestions for how this Code of Conduct could be improved, please email [email protected]

Agreement

By joining Charity Leaders UK, you agree to abide by this Code of Conduct in all community spaces, including:

• Online forums and discussion groups

• In-person events and meetups

• Direct messages between members

• Social media interactions related to the community

• Any other spaces designated as part of Charity Leaders UK

You also agree that violations of this Code may result in removal from the community without refund.

Final Word

We're building something different here. A community where charity leaders don't have to pretend to have it all figured out. Where vulnerability is valued, not punished. Where we challenge the status quo together, not each other's humanity.

This Code of Conduct protects that space.

It's not about perfection it's about commitment. Commitment to showing up with integrity. Commitment to learning when we get it wrong. Commitment to building a community that's actually worth being part of.

Let's do this well, together.

For Immediate Safety Concerns:

If you are in immediate danger, contact emergency services (999 in UK) first, then notify us.

Charity Leaders UK

Breaking the mold for authentic charity leadership

17/11/2025